Have you ever wondered at night how the love you lost from a distant past is doing right this very moment? Was he looking on the same star? Have he ever thought of you while walking on the same streets you both walked on? Was he thinking about you?
Have you tried to re-enact the scene when both of you will meet again? Of course, the scene will depict that you are in a better state -that he will have to think that you were the girl that got away and not the other way around. It would also be nice to think that you were better looking than the one he married. And secretly hoping that your husband/boyfriend is better off than he is. Wouldn’t it be nice that way? On the other hand, if everything else is the complete opposite? Like the way he left the relationship before, it will hurt like hell.
Once I was told a story that when she finally get see her ex in a mall, she was in a casually -thrown- over- her- excessively-voluptuous-body old t-shirt and jeans. She was using her son’s sock as a pony tail holder because it was so hot (because of flushing) and she didn’t bring any hair clasp. There is nowhere to run but straight at him. She afforded him a smile and very quick hi. No basking in the moment or a slow motion glamour scene from the movies with a prayer that he won’t look over his shoulder and see the sock tied to her hair.
I know also of someone attending the mass and seeing him there – she tiptoed going at the back of the chapel for him not to see her because she was also wearing a ” not-chic-enough-outfit-to-meet-u-again”.
One classic story is seeing him in a supermarket. In order to avoid him, she entered another aisle with stuff not in her grocery list. Using one shelf after another to hide from him. Just because … again you left the house in your “mommy jeans”. Careful, careful … you owe this to your public. Don’t be caught in this pretty awkward situation.
It is always a better way to see him being suggested to you on Facebook and hoping he was suggested to you 1st. You will get to sneak on him 1st, assess and then decide if you would want to reconnect. Anything you have on Facebook is a part of you that you allow your friends to see anyway. But there are pictures that you’d wish they would stop tagging you.
A phone call from the past is also a good way to reconnect – safe, unseen and casual- unless you are using 3G. And when you decide to meet up for coffee or beer (depends on your era) – you get to wear your Sunday best hoping it wouldn’t show that you came prepared or hired a stylist . And that you just casually looked over your closet and didn’t give a thought what you will wear. Of course, he doesn’t have to know you have rehearsed all the lines, how to smile without showing off your now wrinkled face – if you cannot afford Botox. The make up should not be too heavy, in fact it should look that you were just sun-kissed. The hair that lost its sheen (because of age) needs reconditioning. Darn, too many surgeries and make overs needed for this one important meeting. This for me is the best but it will hit the hardest because what if you came prepared and it wasn’t good enough.
I also knew someone who met up with an ex- rock star look alike bf and find out that his dream of his being a rock star never left him. Everything about him is from the 80’s except from the date of the meeting.
When the cycle has completed its turn – meeting up with an ex meant nothing but meeting up with an ex. It is casual and ordinary like meeting a client at a coffee shop. There aren’t fireworks that can compete with the Pyrolympics. There isn’t the magic that you would hope would mystically transform you in another place and time.
There is another kind that no matter how bad he has treated you or lied – one text is all it takes for you to come running to him. Forgetting how badly it ended the last time, you are just too blind to take the plunge again and again. Hit me baby one more time – as the song goes.
Meeting with an ex when he is coming out of a basketball game after he has showered could merit ooohs and aaahhs. Of course, he could be sweating despite the shower but this is no way to meet up – this is RED flag honey! Imagine the sinewy arms and abs when you just wished it was all flab and love handles! Whew! The world would stop and spin around, this is when the glamour shot will come in – he would walk towards you in slo-mo (slow motion) and somewhere bet the long strides and the short ones, your jaw fell – not a good sign – This is all beef and all male – and yummy – and walking towards you – believe me, you better run fast, if you are involved. This is a devil that can very well wear nothing but can look very dangerously handsome. If you falter and start to see trickles of sweat even if you didn’t play basketball with him and your hands felt clammy – girl, this is just like using that sock in your hair. The look can make you swoon but the smell is going for the kill. You have been intimate with this man and how dare he look just as deadly!!!! And you realized, the years have made him look smarter. If this is the case, say hi and turn on your engine and go like you are competing for the Gran Turismo. This is bad! Run for your life , baby.
There are also high school reunions reminiscent of the movie “Romeo and Michele”. Meeting up with an ex after 28 years of hibernation that merited you additional pounds, crow’s feet and receding hair lines – this is challenging. Whether you said “Darn, it’s a loss” or “Good Riddance” or “Let’s hook up some other time” or “To be continued … “ , it all depends on the history , on the situation. But believe me, this is one fun event you wouldn’t want to miss. I knew a story that started because of this as well. There is comfort in the thought that you have known this man when you were kids. There is an assurance of familiarity – which I hope wouldn’t breed contempt in the end.
I know a fave character meeting hers in a spice souk in Abu Dhabi … the world stopped and amidst the buzzling market … there’s just the two of them. This ended with a dinner with the line finding what you are missing for a long time – yourself. It has the right ingredients , the history, the familiarity, the longing . The ending? A kiss – one that upon telling it honestly to her hubby gave her a black diamond. In the real world? A black eye would be more likely ….
There are just some love stories that won’t go away. No closures. This is meant to be opened in the very far future. Love that never brought you to the altar but secretly wished it did. Fate designed it to be – or not to be. These are those stories running in your head in times that you need escape from your present boredom and loneliness that tries to creep in the wee hours of the morning. These are the heart pumping excitements that we are missing in our stable lives. Our what-might-have-beens.
To travel this way … not recommended, for your heart’s sake. Travel right!